Avainsana-arkisto: Timo Vuorensola

Näin tehtiin Iron Sky

Näin tehtiin Iron Sky – eli kuinka lakkasin olemasta huolissani ja opin rakastamaan internetiä
Timo Vuorensola, Tero Kaukomaa, Samuli Torssonen, Jarmo Puskala, Pekka Ollula, Janos Honkonen
Docendo, 2012, 175 sivua
ISBN: 978-951-0-38893-8

Suomen päheintä scifieeposta odoteltiin kuin mannaa rautataivaasta, mutta nyt se vihdoin on teattereissa kaiken kansan koettavana. Mutta päinvastoin kuin yleensä luullaan, elokuvat eivät vain maagisesti popsahda olevaisuuteen elokuvateattereiden takapihalla sijaitsevaan valeroskapönttöön. Itseasiassa elokuvan valmistuminen saattaa kestää monta viikkoa.

Näin tehtiin Iron Sky valottaa, vähemmän yllätyksellisesti, Iron Skyn vaiheita ideasta valkokankaalle. Kuuden vuoden projekti puserrettuna reilusti alle kahteensataan sivuun on tiivistä, timmiä asiaa. Jaarittelua kirjasta ei löydy.

Aluksi valotetaan hieman historian alkuhämäriä Star Wreckin parissa, sillä ilman tuota suomalaista Star Trek -parodiaa natsit jököttäisivät edelleen Kuussa peukaloitaan pyöritellen. Samuli Torssosen kova työ Wreckien parissa toi mukanaan rautaisen ammattitaidon tehdä Hollywood-tasoisia tietokone-efektejä kerrassaan (verrattain) naurettavalla kengännauhabudjetilla.

Minulle on aina jäänyt hämäräksi, mitä tuottaja oikeastaan tekee. Kaikki muuthan tekevät ne oikeat duunit. Tero Kaukomaa latoo tiskiin oman tuottajahistoriansa lisäksi tuottajan tärkeimmät hommat ja ehdottomasti tärkein niistä on rahoituksen kerääminen. Ei rahaa, ei rainaa. Ensin pitää olla jotain myytävää ja sen jälkeen pitää saada kaikki mahdolliset tahot syytämään rahaa riskaabeliin tuotantoon, sillä vain jo teatterilevityksestä poistunut elokuva ei enää ole riskaabeli.

"Jos tämä menee läpi, myynnissä on myös aito Van Gogh sekä Vapauden patsaan soihtu."

Ikuisena optimistina joskus lapsena, sekä vielä noin kuukausi sitten, kuvittelin käsikirjoituksen tulevan valmiina yhdeltä visionääriltä. Sen jälkeen kerätään näyttelijät ja tehdään leffa. Kaunista ja sujuvaa. Timo Vuorensolan mukaan totuus on karumpi. Kauhukseni joudun toteamaan, että käsikirjoituksen tekemiseen pätee samat lainalaisuudet kuin kaikkeen muuhunkin kirjoittamiseen. Samaa tekstiä voi viilata iso joukko ihmisiä eri aikoina eikä koskaan ole takeita siitä, että seuraava versio on aiempia parempi. Kaikki elää, kunnes loppuleikkauksesta vedetään printti ja se kiikutetaan taksilla elokuvateatteriin kymmenen minuuttia ennen ensi-iltaa.

Jo paljon ennen ensimmäistä otosta on syytä olla selvillä, ellei jopa valmiina, tiedotusstrategia, pressimateriaali, alati kasvava fanijoukko ja työkalupakki kaiken edellämainitun tehokkaaseen hallintaan. Näistä seikoista kertovat Jarmo Puskala, Pekka Ollula ja Janos Honkonen.

Honkonen on tehnyt jo kymmenvuotisen uran erilaisissa medioissa ja tietää paitsi sen mikä toimii, myös sen mikä ei toimi. Pressisivu kuntoon pojat. Kaikki tarpeellinen helposti saataville. Kielteisistäkin asioista on kerrottava, koska kaikki tulee ilmi kuitenkin ja Internetiä ei voi kusettaa. Fiban sattuessa faktat tuodaan esiin ja painetaan eteenpäin.

Puskala puolestaan kertoo, miten elokuvaa markkinoidaan nykyisenä digiaikana. Edelleen rehellisyys on valttia, koska valheesta jää kiinni. Uusia alustoja syntyy nettiin harva se viikko ja niistä pitää tunnistaa käyttökelpoiset. Kun Iron Skyn taru alkoi, MySpace oli kova juttu. Nykyinen Facebook-sukupolvi kysyy tässä kohtaa ”niin mikä?”. Kun alusta on kunnossa, pitää luoda fanijoukko, kasvattaa sitä ja ennen kaikkea sitouttaa se projektiin mukaan. Tehdä siitä jokaisen oma juttu. Pitää osata onnistua oikeissa kohdissa ja kääntää epäonnistumiset akuankkamaisesti nekin voitoiksi.

Elokuva ei ole pelkkä elokuva, ainakaan jos haluaa menestyä. Ollula puhuu siitä, mitä oheisjuttuja tuotettiin ja ennen kaikkea miksi. Kaiken on toimittava toisaalta omillaan, toisaalta laajennettava kokonaistarinaa, tuotava siihen jotain lisää. Kaikkea ei tarvitse keksia itse, on fiksua katsoa mitä kaikkea on jo, mitä muut tekevät ja sitten koota kasaan kaikki niiden hyvät puolet. Lopullinen jippo on yhdistää hyvät jutut joksikin uudeksi, joka innostaa yleisöä elokuvaa odotellessa. YouTube otettiin haltuun Iron Sky Signal -videoiden ja Director’s Diariesin avulla. Elokuvajuhlien aikaan 30-luvun katulehdenmyyjäksi pukeutunut näyttelijä jakeli ilmaislehtiä vuodelta 2018, pääuutisena tietenkin natsien paluu Kuusta.

Seuraavaksi: Good Moon Rising ja Ugly Moon Rising.

Eniten kuitenkin kirjassa kiehtoi koko projektin kantava ajatus yhteisöllisestä tekemisestä, talkoista. Lähtöajatus oli, että näin massiivista projektia ei voida toteuttaa puhtaasti perinteisin keinoin. Laadittiin työsivusto Wreckamovie, jonka kautta tuhannet fanit saattoivat kantaa oman kortensa kekoon. Päiväkausien taustatutkimus valmistui iltapäivässä ja kiireen keskellä vapaaehtoisten laatima 3D-malli Intian alukseksi pelasti päivän. Kun eteen tuli tiukka paikka ja tarvittiin rahaa, fanisijoittajat löivät kouraan merkittävän summan, jonka turvin taas muutama rahoitustaho päätyi tekemään myönteisen päätöksen. Pidän tätä perusideaa ja sen elenganttia toteutusta Iron Skyn ehkä merkittävimpänä saavutuksena. Tämä on uusi ja todistettavasti toimiva tapa tehdä elokuvaa.

En tiennyt kaipaavani kirjaa Näin tehtiin Iron Sky. Making of -reportaaseja on maailma täynnä. Kuitenkin nyt luettuani sen olen paljon paremmin kartalla monen elokuvatuotannollisen asian kanssa, ja ennen kaikkea olen saanut konkreettisen esimerkin, jota voin kenties itse myöhemmissä pyrinnöissäni soveltaa. Jos elämä on päättymätön koulu, tässä on yksi oppitunti, joka on täyttä timanttia.

Mainokset

Ohjaajan videopäiväkirja: erikoisextrat kuunatseina

Olen jo aiemmin kertonut, miten mahtavaa oli päästä mukaan Iron Skyn tekemiseen kolmanneksi kuunatsiksi vasemmalta. Tässä on tunnelmia siltä päivältä.

Iron Sky Premiere Gala

Tampere, the new science fiction capital of Finland

Date: 26.3.2012
Event: Iron Sky Premiere Gala in Tampere

Zoinks! I was invited to the mega event of the year, premiere gala for Iron Sky in Tampere. The one person reading this who doesn’t know what Iron Sky is, welcome out of your barrel. Here’s twenty euros for the movie ticket and a bucket of popcorn. Go see the new epic Finnish science fiction extravaganza where the Nazis attack from the dark side of the Moon.

I may have been invited twice, actually. I can’t be sure. All I know is Timo Vuorensola, the director, hero of the hour, the Man himself, extended an invitation to a bunch of us outside Kinopalatsi movie theatre after the Iron Sky on Tour event last Friday. After I had filled in the webforms and got the ticket PDF I also got an email invitation which may have been due to my bottom of the barrel end credit status as a special extra. Yeah, I’m now officially the third stormtrooper on the right. Or the fourteenth.

Sometimes things fall in place neatly. Well, it depends on your friends, really, and I happen to have such a darn gosh great gang of friends that I claim global bragging rights for it. Tero Ykspetäjä who also was on his way to the gala offered a ride. I thanked him by droning on all the way to Tampere about all sorts of Nazi Wunderwaffen trivia that I have scored in recent years. Regardless I was not thrown out of the car around Humppila, for which I’m thankful.

It’s irritating when you stop at the red light and you fumble and the engine dies. You try to restart quickly again but in all likelihood it’s green already and even if no one is yet blowing the horn at you, you have this distinct feeling that you’re in their way. Even if you’re on the passenger seat. Well, how about if the car kills its own engine, makes you sort of panic, and restarts it again when the light becomes green? Tero’s spaceship is like that. Exactly like that.

The pinball machine was a shy one but you can see the plunger on the left.

First we went to Plevna to see the movie, then to Pakkahuone for the gala. Outside Plevna there was a red mat and the whole shebang. The production team meant business. As if not reserving the whole theatre and every one of its ten stages wasn’t indication enough. Our seats were on stage eight so up to the second floor we went. And I saw something beautiful. Not that I’d under any circumstance dis the uniformed girls dealing out caffeine chocolate, my favourite drug, but there was a pinball machine. They are quite hard to come by these days, folks. The great man of pinball design Steve Kordek just died this year, but not before his inventions did. Tragically, I realized shortly, I had no coins. It was a tough situation as me and those silver balls go a long way. But alas, our reunion was not to be.

On Friday in Turku me and my spouse Arren had tried to be early to get good seats the Iron Sky On Tour event. Even so many more had had the same idea and beat us to it. This time around there was something like five people sitting there when me and Tero claimed our seats, plus one. Conveniently close to the door since Arren was arriving from Helsinki with about half a minute to spare, depending on the brashness of the taxi driver. He made it, just in the nick of time.

The movie rocked not one quanta less than the first time. This one is for the history books, I bet my molars on it. Big, polished production which differs from Hollywood stuff in all the right places. Groundbreaking method of garnering funds through dedicated fans, solid production values imbued special effects for a fraction of what big studios would have paid to achieve the same. A revolutionary way to make a film.

The first time I had just been watching the film. Everything was new and the pace was never-relenting. In one scene I thought I saw a familiar, odd-looking skull shape, and sort of familiar profile, but then it was gone. Was that me? I couldn’t tell, and neither could anyone else. This time around I was prepared. There! Yes! It’s me! Or, wait, is it? Actually, can’t really say. Nah, probably wasn’t. And now I can only conclude that if the man himself after two times can’t be sure if he appears during one scene in the background, it doesn’t matter at all if he does or not. I know I’m there in a gas mask sieg heiling the Moon Führer and that’s cool enough. Actually, the cool part was doing all that stuff. Seeing it later comes well second to that.

Even though the place was under heavy guard, Batman was not caught.

Back on the ground floor a guy with a camera pushed a mike at me, asking for my impressions about the film. I can, believe it or not, be a tad shy on occasion, but that day was not one of them. I grabbed the mike and told how damn excellent Iron Sky had been, one of my most favourite films of all time. I handed the mike to Arren who gave similar praise and then we bolted. I have still no idea who my impressions were going to reach but Arren though the guy had said something about Poland. A good thing then that I didn’t crack a joke about Lech Walesa. Not that I have such habit, but it would have been so like me to do it for the first time ever, live on Polish national news.

After Plevna the three of us drove to Pakkahuone, got rid of our jackets and dived in. Music, people, drinks, food. Several hundred people talking. Tero had spotted Julia Dietze but I didn’t. We saw Götz Otto towering at least one head taller than most, tho I did see a few other skyscraping guys as well. He was easy to recognize despite the civvies. A good thing, because I had been sort of worried that I’d just walk past all of the stars not noticing them because I have a dastardly combination of bad eyesight and a way of not paying attention to details. But there I was, sipping some grapefruit based hard lemonade, chatting just a tiny bit with two girls, offering them both a sip from my bottle since one of them was curious how it tasted, and looking at the Moon Nazi officer several meters away.

The official part of the night started with some people talking on stage. I missed part of it due to the aforementioned lack of noticing details, like words, and wondering where Arren had gone to. To talk to Götz, it turned out. Pretty soon after that Timo and Tero Kaukomaa, the producer, got on stage and started to invite people over. The big stars, production crew, special effects guys, in a word the folks who had busted their chops for so long to make it all happen. A really shame Janos could not be there due to bad case of flu. I feel for you mate, you deserved to be there.

Tero pointed at one woman up there and noted that she was the president of the United States in the film. And she was also the girl who had taken a sip out of my bottle a bit earlier. I wouldn’t have minded being wrong about my own dimwittedness even once, but hey, everyone’s gotta do it their own way. My way is the Way of the Wooden Eye.

The Bald and the Beautiful also starring Johanna Sinisalo

I got to talk to some interesting folks during the evening, some others I knew were there but didn’t manage to chat with. Among the people I talked to was Johanna Sinisalo, the Queen of Chili and perhaps the professional Finnish writer idol of mine. Strangely we have inhabited the same fandom for over fifteen years and the most we’ve ever talked about anything has been on Facebook. So it was extra nice to have a few minutes and hear from her about writing the movie and also how the script had lived after her involvement.

Another interesting person was Ken Moffat(t), Australian gaffer (or I think he’s Australian, me and details, we’ve been there already) whose name I had noticed in the credits already during the Turku show. I later realized it was because of the family name – Steven Moffat is a writer I’m a big fan of, and in pretty much the only LARP I ever played in I was a dirty cop called Ben Moffat. Talk about cocktail party effect. Maybe my attention is not totally crap, it just focuses on weird details. And thus I miss every president I ever meet. Ken talked a bit about shooting the scenes, the weather and how close it had been that they did get all the shots before the climate went all medieval on the script. We talked about visuals, how the imagery was diesel punk or steampunk. That’s when Arren coined the term Helium-3 punk. It’s one of those occasions when someone says something that just pops in their head and it takes off. In this case Ken took off and rushed to Götz Otto to tell him about it. I wanted to hang around a bit more but it looked like the line between overstaying our welcome not not doing so was right there. Me and Arren slipped away. I’m pretty sure no one noticed.

Two stars, a fan and a gala place

I did get to tell Götz how I found his physical presence and sheer intimidation fantastic. Or I blabbed about something physical and shook his hand. Can’t really say. My bet is on the latter. I also scored a photo with Julia but I don’t recall really saying anything intelligible at all. I would have loved to chat even for a minute but she really looked like she was wanting to leave the scene. Plenty of fans with cameras and boring stories. That got me thinking how stressful it all must be, and how frustrating. There you are, in a party, trying to talk to a few people you find interesting and probably know from before. Your mates and the like. And then there is the endless swarm of fans begging, demanding and competing for your attention. Every single second of the entire evening. Try to drink a sip and there is someone tugging your arm, wanting something. I felt ashamed for wanting a picture.

Stephanie Paul looking exactly like herself

I know, it’s also part of their job description. You meet the fans, you smile, you offer yourself and your image and a few words. But it can go on for hours. The horde just never lets up, one fan is replaced by two more and personal space or the most basic social conventions mean simply nothing. Either you step back for a breath or you go bonkers. Sorry for being part of the horde, Julia.

I did meet Stephanie Paul, the prez, again, asked if I could quickly take a photo while she was having a smoke which might sound as if I had learned nothing, but the situation seemed way more relaxed. She said yes and asked if I wanted to have a picture taken with her. Well, does a hammer fall down on a planet with positive gravity? I once again managed to sound like a deranged lunatic. I’m not sure what I said but I meant that she was a great actress since she looked nothing like her character in the movie. But writing things in English that sound logical is for me helluva lot easier than saying it aloud, so I probably embarrassed myself yet again by saying she didn’t look like herself, or something. But just as with the scenario of a tree falling down in a forest and nobody seeing it, should I feel ashamed if I can’t recall how exactly I goofed up?

Industrial and pretty lights

The original reason for how and why we ended up at the premiere gala in the first place was Laibach. We talked with Timo about Laibach and gigs when he said that they were playing in the gala and we should come. I rarely if ever listen to Laibach on my own, their new Iron Sky theme notwithstanding, but Arren is a huge, huge fan. I’m more into power metal where men scream like little girls and everyone wears leather pants. When they started Arren went for the front spots while me and Tero hung back. While they didn’t sound exactly like pouring a bucket of bolts onto a ship deck and then tossing the bucket against the wall, it sounded a tad similar and it was loud. I’m not into the habit of wearing ear plugs at gigs even though I should and Tero didn’t feel like being in some fan’s way. But we wanted to take a picture or two a bit closer and soon found ourselves being quite close to the stage, maybe two meters away from Arren. There was plenty people but no crowding at all. We stayed there the entire gig, the pain in my ears went away due to numbness and I caught myself swinging, yelling and rocking to the music. How did that happen? But they were effing great! The theme especially was to die for, hard and heavy, all industrial. Music has power it you can feel it vibrating your nasal cavities, your lungs and your testicles. Arren later pointed out that during a song they had been showing a clip from the movie with troopers marching in line. It was a scene I’d said I was in, so now I was part of Laibach background material. A small thing I know, but with this face and talent I better claim the fame whenever possible.

I found the most appropriate sticker on a restroom wall. "Against nazis". If I don't see Care Bears whacking the hell out of Pedobear in the director's cut I'll be bummed.

Sometime around the gig I ran into Timo and thanked him briefly for the invite and congratulated him about the movie. Quite original, I know. I work hard on my material. But I did mean every bit of it. It had been an honor to be a small part of the movie as an extra, it made me uplifted just seeing the movie become real and It was really cool to have been invited to the gala. Around then I fully formed the thought in my head what it all meant to me. I mean Iron Sky. It was an example.

You see, I’m quite a lazy man. Let me have my way and I’ll watch telly twenty hours a week, taping it all. All the comedies and scifi that comes out. That’s me, not graduating and having abandoned all hopes of it a decade ago. I do want to do stuff, though. I used to run quite a few societies and fanzines in my time, I did lead two successful MMORPG communities after my fandom stint and now I want to write. I’m creative, but lazy, and I need all the kicks to my butt to achieve stuff. Iron Sky is a massive kick.

Turku Science Fiction Society gives head once a year. Namely the Atorox head.

If you consider the origins, how it all turned out in the end is a miracle. It’s not magic, it’s not a mystery. It’s actually quite plain, how it happened, how project like Star Wreck gave birth to a blockbuster like Iron Sky. It’s hard work, it’s dedication, it’s people putting their foot down and saying I’m damn well doing this, you just watch me. I’ll never make anything like Iron Sky, I know. But I can put in hard work, and I’ll do my own thing. It’s something I know, but it’s also something that ceases to affect me on a regular basis. I need booster shots like friends getting the coveted Atorox prize for the best SF short story of the year or someone I know getting the Finlandia for the best damn novel of the entire year. It’s seeing Iron Sky taking form, become real.

From all that I gather my own strength to write the stuff I write and pour my creativity into my work. And I’m grateful for all of those magnificent examples, and none of them is as huge as Iron Sky. That’s what it all means to me. I may be a damn fanboy, but beside being a fan of the movie I’m a fan of all the actual work that went into it.

So when Timo, already going ahead turned around and said something about my project to write one drabble each day for a year, it was a shock. Again, me, details, we all know the drill, but I recall it like Timo actually follows my progress at times, like he occasionally reads what I write. Gosh, talk about a rush! I’m still in the mode of thinking that pretty much only my friends ever click the daily link in Facebook to catch my latest yarn. I know this sort of inferiority complex is something I really should shake but it’s somewhere real deep inside and I’m too lazy to do yoga to get in touch with it. I’ll settle for thinking it’s cool that people read what I write, be it people I know from since before the time began to directors of gigantic scifi epics.

As the evening had turned into the night and it was still some two hour drive back to Turku we started to consider leaving. First we had to hunt Timo down to thank him one final time, but the man was nowhere to be seen. Eventually we spotted him and he courteously invited us to the backstage to meet Laibach. If we wanted. It was not such a huge deal to Tero or me, but I knew Arren just might want to take the offer and I scouted him up. Turns out I was right and we did go to see the band briefly.

I also ran to Samuli Torssonen, the man behind the special effects, and said to him he did good work. The look on his face told quite clearly that he had no idea whatsoever who I was and why I was addressing him by the first name. And really, he had no reason to recognize me. But, he might remember me, at least if reminded. Back in the late 90’s when I was the editor-in-chief of Finland’s oldest SF fanzine Spin I learned of Star Wreck movies. It was well before it became evident that In the Pirkinning would stretch into the next millennium. It was possible to order, for money, the cds with all the Star Wrecks so far, but I went and asked for them for free since I’d write about them in Spin. Samuli sent me the movies. And I didn’t write about them.

Temptation has many faces. There's caffeine chocolate behind her back.

Back then, and even now, I tend to take on projects I eventually don’t finish. Can’t finish. It’s not laziness, it’s like all of my strength vanishes when I even think about doing the thing and it leads only to not doing it. Try as I may, even if the task is really simple and takes just half an hour, it can paralyze me for months whenever I even think about it. Writing a review of Star Wrecks fell into that trap. So, after something like thirteen, fourteen years, sorry about breaking my promise, Samuli. It was me, the bald guy you had no reason to recognize.

All in all, it was a huge blast. The stars, the crew, the people, the band. I wore a suit like protocol demanded, I even had a tie. Not a black one but one with skulls on it. Orange, purple and ocean blue skulls, the tie I wore when I graduated from high school. I played the part of a well dressed man, acted like a doofus forgetting basic vocabulary whenever I was closer than three meters from anyone in a film and enjoyed it all immensely. Thank you Timo, thank you Tero, your party rocked! And also thanks to the other Tero for driving my carcass from Turku and back. Thank you Arren for sharing the evening with me. Thank you gorgeous ladies from Varusteleka for all the spiked chocolate you doled out to a caffeine junkie. And apologies if what I said to someone made no sense. Take my word, it sounded better in my head. Smiles all around! I’d say hugs, but I’m not drunk any more.

This is the third trooper from the right, signing out.

Iron Sky on Tour

No niin, nyt se on nähty. Iron Sky nimittäin. Vieläpä kiertuenäytöksenä.

Jokunen viikko sitten laskettiin myyntiin leffaliput erityiselle Iron Sky On Tour -kiertueelle. Pari tekijää, kärkimiehenä elokuvan ohjaaja Timo Vuorensola, kiertää maata leffateatterista toiseen kertomassa Iron Skyn teosta ja vastaamassa kysymyksiin heti näytöksen jälkeen. Jo ideana kertakaikkisen kiehtova tempaus, eikä siinä vielä kaikki. Lipun hintaan kuului t-paita sekä juliste.

Hintaan se meinasikin kaatua. 25€ ei ole mikään triviaali raha allekirjoittaneen yhteistaloudessa, puhumattakaan kahdesta lipusta. Asiaa pohdittuamme tulimme kuitenkin siihen tulokseen, että antaa palaa, Frank. Operatiivinen kysymys kuuluu: montako suomalaista megaluokan scifieeposta tullaan näyttämään erikoisnäytöksenä Turussa omana elinaikanani? Jos en pysty vakuuttavasti vastaamaan, että ainakin kaksi, tämä tilaisuus on mahdollisesti ainoa laatuaan ikinä. Jotkut lähtivät mukaan järjestämään Suomen Euroviisuja Lordin voiton jälkeen, ja heillä ei oletettavasti ollut suuriakaan harhoja siitä, että sama tapahtuisi ihan pian uudestaan.

Koska pariskunnan toinen puollisko hoiti ostorumban, minulla ei ollut mitään käryä siitä, minä päivänä näytös ylipäätään on. Sitten eteen iski yllättävä matkamahdollisuus lähteä Las vegasiin, joka sekin noudatteli periaatetta ”Jos ei nyt, milloin sitten?” ja totesin, että jos tapahtuma on tuona aikana, sille ei mitään voi. Vaan matkan aikana tulikin sähköposti, jossa kerrottiin lippujen olevan tulossa kotiin postissa lähitulevaisuudessa. Ei sitten mitään hätää. Mutta kun lippuja ei kuulunut myöhemminkään.

Kun h-hetkeen oli kaksi päivää, lippujen statusta ihmeteltiin jo Facebookissakin. Tilanteessa oli suurehkon pr-flopin merkkejä, mutta Tour-tiimi paikkasi mallikkaasti. Sekä Facessa että mailitse kerrottiin, että liput olivat tulossa, mutta vaikkeivät tulisikaan, saliin pääsisi ihan vain nimelläkin. Syynä postituksen myöhästymiseen oli lukuisat osoitemuutokset, jotka piti saada reilaan ennen lähetystä. Ilman tätä operaatiota osa lipuista ei olisi löytänyt omistajiaan lainkaan. Mielestäni oli parempi aiheuttaa hieman epätietoisuutta kuin hukkailla maksettuja lippuja ympäri maakuntaa, ja pelasihan se tiedotus siellä kalkkiviivoilla, ihan mallikkaasti jopa.

Koska kyse ei ollut paikkalipuista, pääsi sisään jonotusjärjestyksessä. Matkoineen karkkikauppoineen varasimme projektiin noin tunnin, mikä ei riittänyt mihinkään. Hassua kyllä monella muulla oli ollut täsmälleen sama ajatus ja olimme pikemminkin jonon häntäpäässä, kun sisäänmarssi alkoi. Ei haitannut lainkaan, sillä keskipaikkoja, joille annoimme korkean prioriteetin, oli vapaana vielä hieman keskivälin alapuolelta. Täysin tyhjässä salissa olisin luultavasti valkannut paikat vain kolme riviä ylempää.

Elokuva oli hauska, jopa ratkiriemukas, höystettynä vakavalla kommentaarilla maailmaenosta ja päheillä avaruustaisteluilla. Mutta siitä enemmän ihan arvostelun puolella. Bongasin itseni incognito parista kohtaa taustajoukoista kaasumaski päässä ja käsi pystyssä, mutta jäi epäselväksi, olinko päätynyt rumentamaan valkokangasta ihan tosissaan. Yhdessä kohtaa erään upseerin profiili näytti jossain määrin tutulta, mutta kohtaus vilahti ohi ja jää DVD-julkaisun vastuulle ratkaista tämä elämää suurempi arvoitus.

Lopputekstien alkaessa ääni vedettiin lounaaseen ja ohjaaja-Timo saapui tuottaja-Teron kanssa vastailemaan kysymyksiin. Itse esitin yhden kysymyksen, joka minulle supatettiin korvaan, eli mistä syntyi Perikato-viittaus. Timo Vuorensola kertoi keksineen jutun ja joutuneensa vakkuuttamaan muut siitä, että tämä olisi hyvä veto. Hyvä että mies jaksoi taistella asiansa puolesta, kyseessä kun on koko rymistelyn ehdottomasti hilariöösein kohtaus. Myös Mike Pohjola sai aplodit. Muistaisinpa vielä miksi.

Session jälkeen lauma meitä jo hieman ikääntyneempiä scifistejä kokoontui aulaan puimaan viimeaikaisia audiovisuaalisia kokemuksia ja yleistuomio oli, että olihan se pätevä ja viihdyttävä. Lössin hajaantuessa minä riensin kakkoskerrokseen julisteen kanssa hakemaan parit nimmarit ja kiittelin vielä naamakkain, että perkeleen hyvän elokuvan olivat miehet saaneet aikaiseksi. Jonottaessamme Iron Sky -tyttöset keekoilivat niukoissa vormuissaan ja tarjoilivat kofeiinisuklaata, joten tylsäksi ei käynyt missään vaiheessa.

Vihoviimeisiä mielipiteitä vaihdeltiin sitten vielä Kinopalatsin edessä viileän alkukevään viiman kutitellessa hipiää, kun on Tour -retkue saapui pahvilaatikoita roudaten ja alkoi nakkelemaan kamaa autoonsa. Suunta oli vihdoin Tampereelle, pois maakunnista ja sudeettialueilta. Koska roudausporukka katosi yksi kerrallaan kuka minnekin, Timo jäi juttelemaan ryhmämme kanssa. Puhe kääntyi Laibachiin. Ilmeni, että Laibach esiintyisi Tampereella jo seuraavana maanantaina.

Itse ihan tykkään bändistä, mutta kun perusmusiikkimakuni on enemmän sellaista kikkelinheilutuspowermetallia, jossa vedetään kovaa ja vieläkin korkeammalta, sitä tulee pistettyä ani harvoin soimaan. Mitä nyt niiden eeppisintä Iron Sky -pätkää olen veinannut muutaman kymmentä kertaa. Mutta Arren on fani. Ryhdyttiin kyselemään, olisikohan sinne vielä lippuja saatavilla. No nythän oli niin, että keikka ei ollut mikään tavallinen keikka, vaan osa suurta iron Skyn premiere-gaalaa. Mutta jos sinne haluasisimme, siitä vain mailia Timolle ja tsekataan mitä järjestyy.

No, viiden minuutin kuluttua istun autossa matkalla kohti Tamperetta.

Tähän saakka olen jo saanut nauttia Iron Sky -ilmiöstä suuresti. Pääsin extraksi itse elokuvaan, kävin Iron Sky on Tour -näytöksessä ja nyt pääsen kokemaan produktion huipennuksen. Olen onnekas, ja onnellinen. Enää jänskättääkin vain yksi asia. Ei niinkään se, näenkö elokuvatähdet, vaan se, tunnistanko heidät. Tyypilliseen puusilmäiseen tapaani luultavasti posotan tyynesti Götz Otton ja Julia Dietzen ohi ja jälkeenpäin kuulen, että kaveri jonka kaljan tönäisin sen syliin oli Udo Kier. Mutta kunkin on oltava tyylilleen uskollinen.

Iron Sky

Iron Sky (2012)
Pääosissa: Julia Dietze, Götz Otto, Christopher Kirby, Peta Sergeant, Stephanie Paul, Tilo Prückner, Udo Kier
Käsikirjoitus: Jarmo Puskala, Johanna Sinisalo, Michael Kalesniko, Timo Vuorensola
Ohjaus: Timo Vuorensola

Enpä muista yli vuosikymmeneen odottaneeni mitään elokuvaa samanlaisella innolla. Ja toisin kuin Lucasin rimanalitusesiosatrilogia, Iron Sky ei pettänyt!

Jokaiselle lienee selvää kauraa elokuvan lähtökohdat. Toisen maailmansodan päätyttyä jokseenkin epäedullisesti Kolmannen valtakunnan kannalta pakeni pieni joukko natseja Kuun pimeälle puolelle lentävillä lautasillaan. Hans Kammlerin Wunderwaffe-projektit tuottivat kuin tuottivatkin siis V2:ia eksoottisempia tuloksia! Tiesinhän! Olisikin kiinnostaavaa nähdä, mitä sama sakki saisi aikaan Foofighterien sijaan Die Glockella (joko natsit, tai Energia Productions, tai ehkä fanficcaan koko jutun itse).

Vuonna 2018 Yhdysvallat lähettää aluksen Kuuhun lähinnä promomielessä. On jälleen presidentinvaalien aika ja jotain repäisevää on keksittävä. Kuuhanke kuitenkin kosahtaa reisille välittömästi, kun olalta laukaistava häiriötekijä päräyttää kuumoduulin päreiksi. Mustaihoinen astronautti James Washington jää vangiksi ja sakut toteavat, että nyt on aika käynnistää pitkään hautuneet suunnitelmat. Maan valloitus alkaa.

Jos saliin menee naama näkkärillä ja odottaa näkevänsä Suomi-version 2001:stä, saa jotain muuta kuin mitä tilaa. Kyseessä on ennen kaikkea komedia, toimintaa toki unohtamatta. Siltikään syvempiä vesiä kaipaavan ei ole syytä vajota epätoivoon, sillä huumorin alta pilkahtelee paljon myös vakavampia teemoja, kuten rotukysymys, propaganda, USA:n ulko- ja sisäpolitiikka ja maailmanrauhan sietämätön epävakaus. Lisäksi Iron Sky läpäisee Bechdelin testin kirkkaasti. Mukana on useita naishahmoja, jotka myös keskustelevat keskenään, ja vieläpä muusta kuin miehistä. Jos pidätte tätä saavutusta triviaalina, käykääpä dvd-/sinisädehyllynne läpi ja kelatkaa, moniko niistä yltää samaan.

Liukuma natsismista republikaanien elkeisiin tapahtuu salakavalan huomaamattomasti.

Itse olin jo varautunut hienoisesti pettymään, lähinnä siksi, että odotukseni olivat nousseet naurettaviin sfääreihin vuosien ja etenkin viime kuukausien myötä. Ja jossain takaraivossa supatti edelleen se teinivuosien aikana sinne pesiytynyt peikko, jonka mukaan suomalainen juttu ei voi olla hyvää, sen täytyy olla amerikkalaista ollakseen laatua. Jos ikinä saan tuon pikku paskan kiinni, sidon sen tuoliin katsomaan Species-trilogiaa jatkuvalla toistolla, kunnes se vannoo Kvanttivarkaan ja Fasilitaattorin nimeen. Silti, oman pääni vajaavaisuuksista huolimatta, diggasin koko elokuvaa ihan kybällä! Seuraavana päivänäkin olen vielä ihan täpinöissäni!

Iron Skyssa on paljon hyvää. Erityistä kiitosta saa vahvat naishahmot, enkä nyt tarkoita ripleymäistä selviytymisviettiä vaan kunnollista ja rehellistä otetta elämään ja valtaan. Toinen järkyttävä piirre oli elokuvan pituus, vain puolitoista tuntia, minkä johdosta juoni puski koko ajan eteenpäin. Löysää ei ollut ja pahiksia ei tarvinnut teilata kolmasti. En osaa sanoa, kaipasinko juoneen paria lisäkäännettä siksi, että se olisi tehnyt Iron Skysta paremman, vaiko vain siksi, että aivoni ovat jo turtuneet yli kahden tunnin eeposten markkinastandardeihin.

Huonoja tai turhia hahmoja ei tässä rainassa olekaan. Götz Otton esittämä Klaus Adler huokuu juuri sellaista fyysistä julkeutta ja läsnäoloa, joka kumpuaa vain eliniän aikana kertyneestä varmuudesta omaan parhaimmuuteensa ja loistavaan kohtaloonsa. Siinä on mies, joka ei pyydä vaan ottaa minkä tahtoo. Ja ohittaa siksi myös kriittiset liittolaiset, joista helpolla tulee myös kriittisiä vastustajia. Julia Dietze puolestaan vetää läpi mallikkaasti roolin Renate Richterinä. Kaunis, ylväs, viehko ja oman vakaumuksensa täydellisesti läpäisemä. Mikään ei räjähdä palasiksi yhtäläisellä voimalla kuin murskattu idealismi.

Obskuurien populäärikulttuuriviittausten kavalkadi on mittava ja vie epäilemättä useita katsomiskertoja huomata edes suurin osa, puhumattakaan kaikista. Mm. Viivi ja Wagner -viittaus meni täysin ohi, kunnes ohjaaja paljasti, että sellainenkin on ja kaveri kertoi, mikä se oli. Oma suosikkini oli Perikato-pastissi, joka iski ohi kaikkien suojausten suoraan huumoritumakkeen pehmeään ytimeen.

Iron Sky on suomalaisen elokuvan merkkiteos. Se on selvää jo nyt, ja historia tulee osoittamaan tämän väitteen todeksi.

Suomalaisten kuuasema olisi epäilemättä kossupullon muotoinen.

My day as a Moon Nazi

My day as a Moon Nazi

Moon Nazis coming your way - 4.4.2012

Date: 23.11.2011 (Wednesday)
Event: Being an extra in Iron Sky

I’ve been into science fiction since before I could read. Stories about people in space spoke to me always the loudest. Having a tiny creative side I’ve also yearned to be part of it all somehow, whether by writing short stories, gamemastering roleplayer communities in MMORPGs or leading sf clubs and editing their magazines. So when I got the chance to appear in a real, honest-to-Cthulhu science fiction epic I went for it like a mass particle into singularity.

On last week’s Monday night my Facebook feed started to repeat a post about Iron Sky wanting extras. Man, that would be so much fun! I’ve been a fan of Iron Sky even before it had a name or I knew Johanna Sinisalo would script it. A bad, lazy fan I admit, or maybe I’m just trying to avoid the spoilers, but the bottom line is I didn’t know much about plot of the movie. Just what the trailers gave away. Regardless, to have a chance to be a part of it sent all sorts or crazy signals screaming for attention in my head.

Alas, I checked the requirements. Male body, check. Between 170-175 cm tall, check. Blond, short hair, fail. Oh damn my craving for shaving! It had been worth checking it out but if they named only three requirements it was a safe bet to assume they meant those. Right? Luckily on Tuesday my pessimism got cheered down by a friend who insisted I at least asked whether a bald guy could be a Moon Nazi. And what the hey, it’s just an email, all I’m wasting is the other person’s time a minute when they have to turn me down. Turned out lacking that Aryan blond hair was no obstacle at all. Welcome aboard, mate!

"So girls, this is what daddy was doing yesterday."


That was Tuesday night. I spent some frantic time checking at what hour I should leave Turku for Helsinki (wakeup was at 5 am) and how should I navigate from train station to the studio. In the end it was actually easypeasy but I always worry about such things. Give me two points on a map and detailed directions, and if the distance between them is over ten meters I’m more than likely to get lost. However I did find the studio without any gaffes. I guess I used all my good fortunes for the rest of the year on this one.

When I arrived present were three or four other extras. I was there some fifteen minutes earlier than the official starting time so I sat down to drink coffee and chitchat with the others. I was amused to note that out of the chaps maybe one or two filled every moon nazi criteria and the numbers didn’t get any better when latecomers started pouring in. Not that the hair color actually mattered much as we found out, it was the body types that turned out to be more critical.

After a second cup someone came to herd us to get dressed and we briskly did so not wanting to make anyone wait for us. Every minute was counting! There were all sorts of gear available and I started donning whatever I could just so I wouldn’t be the last man in Nazi pants. Jacket, helmet, gloves, pants, boots, even a weapon with only slightly bent muzzle, pretty soon I had it all. Around that time it dawned on us that there was a serious shortage of everything. Not to worry tho, the situation had been realized the previous night and more gear was coming from a storage at some remote corner of Finland. Any time, now.

While we waited we got to know each other a bit more and there was an excellent breakfast being served as well . Available was fruits, bread and yogurt, not to mention coffee. That would be the theme of the day and I’d pay for it dearly a few days later. Upping the daily caffeine intake by about 500% got the body accustomed to high levels of it and eventual withdrawal symptoms were pure hell once again.

We come in peace


Almost two hours later than the announced time to be there the extra gear arrived and we got everyone clothed. Not as stormtroopers as planned, tho. Two guys were dressed as officers because out of the three prereqs it was only the hair color that did not prevent people from getting a jacket on.

We met with the director Timo Vuorensola who was friendly and businesslike. First he recruited two handymen to lug military stuff like crates from Varusteleka just around the corner and then once we were all properly nazified he showed us around a bit. The stage, a few shots on computer where we were going to fill in the blanks. The basic gimmick was very simple.

We’d be wearing gas masks and do stuff on stage, against a green background. Whenever the Moon Nazi National Anthem would start playing we’d face wherever it was that the Moon Führer was supposed to be and snap into the perhaps most widely recognized salute of all time. The first few were a bit awkward, I was straining the muscles and standing all rigid, but pretty soon I learned to relax and go with the flow.

"Just texting with this punch card smart phone."


That’s what we did for two or three hours. Loiter, march, carry, jog, run, guard and every now and then throw a hearty Hitlergruß. The clothes were warm by themselves, physical activity added to it and the masks made it a tad hard to breath so once in a while the director made sure that we were all ok and not passing out any time soon.

The mask itself made some things difficult. Usually I wear glasses but of course inside the mask it was impossible. Factor in the bright lights shining on us and the relative darkness of the operative table and subtler hand signs have a tendency of getting lost. For example when we were told to salute a piece of tape on a pipe I couldn‘t spot the tape but neither could I see the pipe either. So I just approximated. Since no one told us to take that shot again I guess it was accurate enough.

During the day I learned really to respect the director. I’ve been bombarded by all sorts of ideals how a work place should function, how respecting the other person’s contributions is important and all that jazz. Now I got to experience it in effect. Before each shot Timo would say “actors, please“ to let us know we should start doing whatever we were supposed to, and after each shot he thanked us. Every single time. It sounds like a minor thing but if you’re working a minor, unimportant job that any yahoo could pull off, it really feels good to know that the main man appreciates your work.

Smile and positive attitude goes a long way also on the dark side of the Moon.


Another significant lesson which I already knew but loved to see get reinforced was how enthusiasm is contagious. If you want people to really come and help you with a project, just push as hard as you can with your own shoulders and others will flock in to help. I’m sure Timo had heard the Moon Nazi anthem gazillion times already, but a few times when the lights were right I could see him waving his hands madly to the tune of it like it was the best thing ever. Seeing him loving the movie making and going wild about it after so many months was rather uplifting. At least personally, I don’t know about the rest of the guys, but whenever we were asked if we’d do a few more shots or have a break then, we always chose to work a bit more.

After all the troopering and having a pizza we changed into Götterdämmerung officer uniforms, all of us who could since there wasn’t enough of them for us all. I was told to get out of trooper clothes and into officerwear while the mechanics were still shooting scenes so I was lucky enough to score appropriate clothes. Three down, five to go we proceeded into the bridge of a huge battlecruiser.

I am the very model of a modern Major-General - FROM THE MOON


Once there we one by one operated huge punch card tech computers, experienced the ship taking such hits that one of us hit his head for real while falling down and looked at a tactical display with great concern. By that stage we were hulking up on endorphins and adrenaline, giving it all we had. In one scene four of us were there at the same time and were thrown on our backs in synchronicity by Götterdämmerung main guns firing. The fifth guy took an excellent photo of it.

Once our job was done the fifth guy who had been absent from shoots for the last hour got to shine. A small speaking part with actual closing up shot and all. I don’t think there was any of us who was not at least a bit jealous but such is life and I reckon there are some folks who envy us for being extras. I really want to see how that shot looks on the big screen! The guy managed to summon a bellowing roar for it in the end.

Of course which shots end up on the screen depends on the director. Maybe you’ll see my face or maybe you’ll get lucky.

And then it was over. The last scene done we retreated to change into civvies and try to shake the pavlovian reflex of siegheiling at the smallest cue. It was one of the most magnificent days for me in quite a while and I’m really thankful to all the people involved. Special thanks go to our two clothing ladies who assisted us throughout the entire day fetching coffee and water whenever needed just so that we’d be available immediately if the director needed us.

Special Extras Janne, Jussi, Jukka, Kalle, Roy, Tommi and Viljami, see you at the grand opening. Let us toast to the working grunts of space national socialism and enjoy the spectacle of our, as I deeply suspect, imminent defeat. We did well.

And it's a wrap!